Relationships are for relating; they are not for "being right."
Have you ever noticed how, among the countless topics that people could agree on, they tend to gravitate toward the ones that cause conflict? To deny themselves that feeling of connection they could enjoy with a friend or loved one based on what brought them together in the first place, before they figured out everything about the other person they wanted to "fix"?
We fancy ourselves vitally necessary to the "enlightenment" of strangers and loved ones alike, wearing our black robes of Judgement as we brazenly stride through the Court of Mankind. We know this will work, because the fear of not being liked or accepted by others is universal. We know that because we have all felt the sting of it ourselves. And on the cycle goes.
Forgetting that we are all more alike than we are different is the lifeblood of social media, the catalyst for millions of failed romances, and the painful wedge that causes father to turn away from son, and mother away from daughter. We are maddeningly blind to our commonalities and eagle-eyed to our contrariness, principally because there is more opportunity to wield power in the latter by exacting "justice" over past hurtful judgements passed down on us.
In a society that fuels divisive discourse as a tactic of mass distraction from an ever-increasing encroachment of personal freedom, choosing to focus on what connects us is an act of rebellion. Forging strong connections with the people in your life is a simple matter of what you choose to focus on, and what you choose to let go.
On this Memorial Day, I remember not just the service men and women who value and fight for our precious freedom, but I remember those that have come and gone in my own life-- the fruits of possibility and connection that were left to rot on the floor because of a single bruise on an otherwise perfect specimen.
What better way to honor those that fought for our ability to exist peacefully in society than to use that gift well by choosing to cherish our brief time together? To choose to relate, rather than to be right?
What can you give up for someone you love?
